Yes, that’s right, I’m talking about a movie starring Stephen Dorff. It’s fantastically gory and funny. And the title is to die for: Botched. Of course, for the most part the picture has received bad online reviews, and the title has been used against itself. But you know what? Anyone expecting more than what this is from a DVD premiere movie is kind of an asshole. Sure it’s a mess, but it’s a fun mess. The title refers to a heist that goes terribly wrong (that never happens!) which puts Mr. Dorff on the thirteenth floor of a Moscow skyscraper, where he and his hostages are terrorized by a guy who thinks he’s Ivan the Terrible. Sound bizarre? It is, but in all the right ways. And the gore is hysterically over-the-top. As are most of the characters, playing against Dorff’s tough guy straight man. It helps to be two scotches under to really get a kick out of this one. Or three bong hits. But if you’ve got access to some good stuff, then you’ll be hollering right along with Stephen Dorff.
(Heh-heh. His last name is “Dorff.”)