I thought we were just going through a rough patch. Fighting two wars, skyrocketing gas prices, economic tailspin, new Britney Spears video – I thought these were unrelated events that would knock us off our feet for a short while, and we would stand up with renewed strength. I was wrong.
According to CNN:
Disney’s family comedy “Beverly Hills Chihuahua,” with Drew Barrymore providing the voice of the pooch, was the No. 1 flick for the second-straight weekend with $17.5 million, raising its 10-day total to $52.5 million, according to studio estimates Sunday. (see CNN report)
I knew things were bad, but I didn’t realize they were Apocalypse Level Extinction Event bad. These truly are the end times. I am going to stockpile firearms, fuel, potable water, and Lunchables. Then I plan on bolting scrap metal to my Honda Civic, which I will use to smash my way out of the Los Angeles terrorscape in search of a mythical drive-in that only shows Steven Segal movies made prior to Executive Decision.
Good luck to us all.
-Skelton
Godspeed, Steve. The rest of us in the prairie lands will be monitoring your progress from secure bunkers stocked with Mountain Dew and Little Debbie products.
By the way: don’t try to get into our bunkers. Seriously. We will shoot you.
Unless he brings Zebra Cakes. And the dead carcass of that creepy talking koala.
Fucker scares the hell out of me.
Nice article. Thanks. 🙂 Eugene