Straight-to-DVD Corner with Tonn Slingdog: Wrong Turn 2

I wasn’t a big fan of the original theatrical release, Wrong Turn. It was okay, I suppose, just a silly rip-off of Texas Chainsaw Massacre that was trying to be as disturbing as that classic, but the inbred mountain folk terrorizing the bland pretties had some rather silly looking prosthetic make-ups and made lots of noises that sounded like seventh-graders making fun of people with Down Syndrome. 

And the climax of that picture featured this completely preposterous chase sequence in the tops of trees, which was amusingly dumb, but devoid of any tension whatsoever.  Any-hoo, when I sat down with the direct-to-video sequel I was expecting an even lower budget affair without even the big dumb ending of the original. I suppose low expectations are key here…because I was surprised at how entertained I was.

This one is actually even more of a rip-off of the original Massacre, right down to the crazy dinner scene where our heroine is tied to a chair and forced to take part in the cannibalistic hullabaloo.  And they threw in a little of Texas Chainsaw 2 for good measure, with Henry Rollins turning in an energetic and hilarious performance as the stand-in for Dennis Hopper’s character.  The gore comes fast and furious, the inbred freaks sound even more ridiculous with their yelps and screams, and the pretties are just as pretty although probably a lot less expensive.  There is one “annoying guy” who I think is supposed to be the comic relief, but being that the movie is kind of silly there is no need for any sort of relief and “annoying guy” winds up being just that.  But that works in a strange way because it was wonderful to watch him die.

There is something satisfying about a shameless rip-off that tries to disguise nothing and instead spends all its energy on its exploitation elements.  And did I mention how much fun Henry Rollins is?  He’s carved out this fun straight-to-video horror guy acting career for himself.  Normally I get aggravated when I see singers and rappers taking work from real actors, but Rollins seems to really love being in grotesque junk, so I’m going to let him slide.  Plus, he could kick my ass, so slide he must.

Until next time, my sofa with bong water and cum stains is closed.

Love actually, Tonn

3 thoughts on “Straight-to-DVD Corner with Tonn Slingdog: Wrong Turn 2”

  1. I thought this was fun and gooey. way better than the original, which even Stan Winston admitted was toned down too much from what they wanted.

    Rollins is a hoot, the hotties are appropriately hot but the black guy is terrible.

  2. I had no problem with Texas Battle (real name), I was too busy looking at Crystal Lowe, thinking how tremendously great the odds were that she would not have a nude scene. Yeah, definitely this movie is better than the first one. Heard the 3rd one is not so hot, though.

    Speaking of singers stealing roles from thespians, as long as the singers get their lips chewed off and cut in half vertically with an axe.

    Todd, did you get to see House of the Devil when it was in the theaters? I was fortunate to be able to. I know some people thought it was slow, and then different people thought it was needlessly violent at the end. I enjoyed it quite a bit. Tom Noonan needs to be in more horror films. Actually so does Jocelin Donahue.

    1. I just saw House of the Devil and I appreciated the hell out of it, although ultimately it was bit too slow for my taste. However, I loved the way it was shot (a true homage, unlike what is usually referred to as homage when it is just derivative) and the cast was great. Noonan, as always, was a hoot. But the second act was essentially just a girl running around in a creepy house feeling creeped out because it’s all so creepy but as an audience member I wasn’t creeped out myself. And here lies the problem with the homage: I’ve already seen it all before, and especially when it comes to horror and comedy, if I have seen it before it won’t make me scared and it won’t make me laugh. It will make me sleepy. Which this movie did. In fact, I fell asleep at one point, and my wife woke me up because I was snoring and she couldn’t hear Tom Noonan (she likes him, too.) If you haven’t seen this type of picture before, I’m sure it’s a lot more effective. However, if I were to point a young person who was just discovering horror in a particular direction, I would probably recommend the actual classics rather than a movie that merely looks like one.

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