Category Archives: Movie Commentaries

It’s like having the three people who won’t leave your party decide to watch your entire movie collection and scream at the television.

TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: start commentary 10 seconds after starting movie (chapter 1 for DVD/BD).

MOVIE COMMENTARY: Turbulence (1997)

poster_turbulenceIt’s just doesn’t feel like the holiday season unless a lunatic Ray Liotta is trying to kill you on an airplane! Celebrate Christmas with Film Pigs Todd & Skelton as they settle down for a screening of the 90’s disaster-thriller TURBULENCE! Get yourself a mug of nog and sync up the commentary with the movie so you can listen to the Pigs marvel at the signature “Crazy” Ray Liotta bad guy performance, the constantly-bewildered Lauren Holly, and the most Christmas decorations ever seen on a major airline flight.

TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie (chapter 1 for DVD/BD).

MOVIE COMMENTARY: Gremlins 2 – The New Batch (1990)

poster_gremlins2TV’s Todd and Not TV’s Falk sit down to enjoy the bizarre treat that is Gremlins 2. Half way through the movie they lose interest and start going through Falk’s “Movie Diary” which is a list of everything he saw in the theater since 1990 (and each entry includes who he saw the movies with…listen to Todd’s mind get blown when he realizes what movies he has seen with Steve! Amaaaaaaaaaaaazing!) Also, enjoy the sweet sounds of these two idiots sipping on soup.

TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie (chapter 1 for DVD/BD).

MOVIE COMMENTARY: Total Recall (1990)

poster_totalrecallGet your ass to Mars! The Film Pigs are back with a new alternate commentary for the Arnold Schwarzenegger classic TOTAL RECALL! Given the super-dull remake, this exercise in 90s over-the-topness is a breath of fresh air (Cohaagen!). And by “air” we mean a preposterous storyline, ludicrous blood-squib violence, a truly impressive amount of scene-ending quips, and the smoldering rage of Canada’s own negative emotion repository Michael Ironside. Open your miiiiiiinnnnd!

TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie (chapter 1 for DVD/BD).

MOVIE COMMENTARY: The Room (2003)

poster_theroomThe Film Pigs did not hit her! We did not–oh, hi, you guys. We did not see you there. What are you doing up here on the roof, just sitting with the football and thinking? Ha ha! That is so great! Maybe later after we are finished working at the bank we can get all our friends together for a party where we watch The Room. It is a really intense movie, guys. Full of love, friendship, betrayal, awkward nudity, football tossing, locations filmed without the proper permits, visible weight fluctuations, and rooftop green screens. You are tearing us apart, Lisa!

TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie (chapter 1 for DVD/BD).

MOVIE COMMENTARY: Die Hard 2 (1990)

poster_diehard2Happy holidays, everyone! It’s a Christmas Miracle! The Film Pigs round out 2011 with a treat that’s sure to please everyone: a commentary for the marginally holiday-themed Bruce Willis classic, Die Hard 2! Or, as it’s known in the Philippines, the UK, and on USA video boxes – Die Hard 2: Die Harder. Because nothing says “we put minimal effort into thinking this whole thing through” like an uninspired subtitle.

PLEASE NOTE: you may wish to put the kids to bed before screening, unless you want to expose your precious little ones to William Sadler’s inexplicably naked Tai chi routine. You’ve been warned.

TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie (chapter 1 for DVD/BD).

MOVIE COMMENTARY: Cabin Fever 2 (2009)

poster_cabinfever2Happy Halloween everybody! The Film Pigs are proud to present another holiday-related commentary, this time of the classic flesh-eating sequel Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever. The movie so full of fever, they had to use the word “fever” twice. So you don’t forget there’s some kind of fever.

Pay close attention to the snacks in this commentary – they are particularly vile and you should approach them in real life at your own risk. Learn from our mistakes.

TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie (chapter 1 for DVD/BD).