Alternate DVD Commentaries

It's like having the three people who won't leave your party decide to watch your entire DVD collection and scream at the television. To sync with DVD playback, start DVD at Chapter 1. When DVD counter reaches 10 seconds, start commentary playback.

DVD COMMENTARY: Die Hard 2

Happy holidays, everyone! It’s a Christmas Miracle! The Film Pigs round out 2011 with a treat that’s sure to please everyone: a commentary for the marginally holiday-themed Bruce Willis classic, Die Hard 2! Or, as it’s known in the Philippines, the UK, and on USA video boxes – Die Hard 2: Die Harder. Because nothing says “we put minimal effort into thinking this whole thing through” like an uninspired subtitle.

PLEASE NOTE: you may wish to put the kids to bed before screening, unless you want to expose your precious little ones to William Sadler’s inexplicably naked Tai chi routine. You’ve been warned.

Play
Posted in DVD Commentaries | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

DVD COMMENTARY: Cabin Fever 2

Happy Halloween everybody! The Film Pigs are proud to present another holiday-related commentary, this time of the classic flesh-eating sequel Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever. The movie so full of fever, they had to use the word “fever” twice. So you don’t forget there’s some kind of fever.

Pay close attention to the snacks in this commentary – they are particularly vile and you should approach them in real life at your own risk. Learn from our mistakes.

Play
Posted in DVD Commentaries | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

DVD COMMENTARY: Drive Angry

“So, it’s about this guy who escapes from Hell and goes on a rampage to save his granddaughter from some guys and he drives a car all over the place. It’s CRAZY!”

“This is another Nic Cage thing, isn’t it?”

“He’s attached, yes.”

(audible sigh)

“But William Fichtner‘s signed on to play a supernatural accountant!”

“I LOVE Bill Fichtner. Alright, I’m greenlighting this picture. Just make sure it’s in 3D.” (IMDb)

Play
Posted in DVD Commentaries | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

DVD COMMENTARY: Season Of The Witch

“Thanks for taking this meeting. I’ve got a great movie for you. We take Nic Cage and Ron Pearlman, send them to Eastern Europe for a couple months (Ron’s already there, it’s his off-season from Sons Of Anarchy), and have them run around as knights from the Crusades escorting this hot girl in a cage who everybody thinks is a witch and stuff. And they’ll act like they’re in a buddy-cop movie. We’ll put poor, old Christopher Lee in hideous makeup and Ron will have this giant wound on his head that won’t heal, even though they’ve been walking around for months. And we’ll name the picture after that Donovan song so people will think the movie is either a biopic or a car commercial. …Yes, I said Nic Cage. What’s the problem?” (IMDb)

Play
Posted in DVD Commentaries | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

DVD COMMENTARY: Caddyshack

Here’s a curveball: the Film Pigs do an alternate DVD commentary for a movie they absolutely LOVE*. We do an admirable job of actually talking about the movie instead of quietly watching or just reciting every single line as it’s spoken (although some of that is involuntary, like breathing or growing nose hair). Joining us for his 12th official viewing of Caddyshack is filmmaker and friend of the Pigs, Frank Stokes! So, we’ve got that going for us. Which is nice. (IMDb)

* It’s also an excuse to stare slack-jawed at Cindy Morgan.

Play
Posted in DVD Commentaries | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments