Straight-to-DVD Corner with Tonn Slingdog: We Have a Winner!

Breaking my streak of unwatchable DTV horror, I discovered a movie called Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer, a kind of anti-Buffy movie.  Jack Brooks is the world’s worst plumber with a massive anger management problem, and he’s played with giddy, aggravated energy by the likeable Trevor Matthews. His family was killed by a monster, and he’s never gotten past his inability to have done anything about it.  His science teacher (most of the movie takes place in a high school, although it seems to be a night class–all the students dress like they are still in high school, circa 1986, but they are all clearly too old to actually be in high school) asks him to fix a plumbing problem at his creepy new house, and Jack unwittingly unleashes a possessed black heart of evil which possesses the science teacher, slowly turning him into a monster not-so-gently reminiscent of the Chet monster of Weird Science. 

Continue reading Straight-to-DVD Corner with Tonn Slingdog: We Have a Winner!

Straight-to-DVD Corner with Todd: No Luck Lately

I’m sad to report that I haven’t had much luck with the horror shows I’ve been renting lately.  Most have been either mediocre (The Tattoist) or lame (Lost Boys 2: The Tribe, despite the post-credit cameo by Corey Haim as a vampire facing off against Corey Feldman…which would have made a much more interesting movie than what they came up with) to incredibly overrated by Fangoria Magazine (Home Sick, despite my favorite DTV scream queen Tiffany Shepis’s presence…and a naked presence, at that.)  And I should know by now that Fangoria trumpets a lot of shit they shouldn’t most likely because they probably get kick-backs from distribution companies and whatnot, but I keep trying out their suggestions anyway because they are the only publication out there that wastes time on these indie horror productions and every now and then they come up with a good one.
Continue reading Straight-to-DVD Corner with Todd: No Luck Lately

Straight-to-DVD Corner with Todd: Botched…Again!

I’m sort of surprised at how much luck I’m having with straight-to-video horror DVD’s lately.  Generally, I’ve got to wade through four or five awful ones before I get to a decent one, but lately the ratio has been much better.  The Cottage, a British horror-comedy starring Andy Serkis, is a tightly constructed and hilarious take on the slasher genre.  I suppose it was Shaun of the Dead that ushered in a new wave of British horror-comedy, and while that was the only one to get a theatrical release Stateside, the rest of ’em are nothing to scoff at (check out the corporate retreat slasher comedy Severance as well, you’re guaranteed a good time if horror-comedy is your thing.) 

Continue reading Straight-to-DVD Corner with Todd: Botched…Again!

Tonn “Sling-dog” Anderson in BONES

I will appear in a scene of this week’s episode of “Bones” if anyone is interested.  (Assuming they didn’t cut out the scene, of course.  Or reshoot it with someone else.  Or decide that my performance destroyed the entire episode, and they’re going to just replace it with one of those hilarious blooper shows they do.)

All of my love, all of my kisses, you don’t know what you’ve been missin’. Todd.

Straight-to-DVD Corner with Todd: Zombie Sequel Exception

As I believe I mentioned on one of the last Straight-to-DVD Corner posts, the straight-to-video sequels of theatrical releases (such as The Butterfly Effect 2, Urban Legends: Bloody Mary, and I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer) are never as much fun as the franchises from which they were born (and I realize that the originals of the sequels I just listed were not particularly fantastic, but all were fun for what they were.  So leave me alone about it.  Seriously.  Get off my back.)  But I’ll be a monkey’s uncle if I didn’t find an exception to my little rule (not that I’m saying anything bad about monkeys, I would consider myself lucky to be the uncle of any sort of primate, except maybe the baboon because those guys seem particularly dangerous.)

Continue reading Straight-to-DVD Corner with Todd: Zombie Sequel Exception