Tag Archives: Disaster

MOVIE COMMENTARY: The Room (2003)

poster_theroomThe Film Pigs did not hit her! We did not–oh, hi, you guys. We did not see you there. What are you doing up here on the roof, just sitting with the football and thinking? Ha ha! That is so great! Maybe later after we are finished working at the bank we can get all our friends together for a party where we watch The Room. It is a really intense movie, guys. Full of love, friendship, betrayal, awkward nudity, football tossing, locations filmed without the proper permits, visible weight fluctuations, and rooftop green screens. You are tearing us apart, Lisa!

TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie (chapter 1 for DVD/BD).

MOVIE COMMENTARY: The Core (2003)

poster_thecoreThere’s nothing more refreshing than a big Hollywood movie with a plot based on sound science. Since those don’t exist, the Film Pigs watched The Core instead. We’re not sure what was more astounding: the Space Shuttle crash landing in the LA river (which could TOTALLY happen), the amount of people per square mile that have pacemakers, or Stanley Tucci’s wig.

None of the clearly well-researched science in this movie would be believable if Aaron Eckhart hadn’t been sporting the frosted surfer-boy locks that were so common among scientists of the early 2000s. And who knew The Next Karate Kid could pilot a train with a laser on front straight into the earth?

TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie (chapter 1 for DVD/BD).

MOVIE REVIEW: 2012 (2009)

The Pigs see John Cusack destroy the hearts of 20-30something girls everywhere who still see him as Lloyd Dobler as he saves his family from the end of the world by driving a limo very fast and stealing beer from Woody Harrelson. This is one of the singularly stupidest films of all time, but kind of a blast. (IMDb)

Featured Film Pigs Listicle: Favorite 70s Disaster Movie

‘Beverly Hills Chihuahua’ #1 For 2nd Week – Collapse Of Civilization Imminent

I thought we were just going through a rough patch. Fighting two wars, skyrocketing gas prices, economic tailspin, new Britney Spears video – I thought these were unrelated events that would knock us off our feet for a short while, and we would stand up with renewed strength. I was wrong. Continue reading ‘Beverly Hills Chihuahua’ #1 For 2nd Week – Collapse Of Civilization Imminent

MOVIE COMMENTARY: 10,000 BC (2008)

poster_10000bcAt the dawn of human civilization, there was this guy who hunted giant cartoon mastodons, was chased by prehistoric man-eating ostriches, and totally fucked up this pyramid. He did this because some other guys kidnapped his girlfriend…and the guy who owned the pyramid made everybody think he was a god or something…a disembodied Omar Sharif kept talking every now and then…

Okay, this movie is stupid, even for a premise that abandons at the first frame any thought of possibly trying to be somewhat in the neighborhood of historically accurate. Even worse, it is boring. Mind-numbingly boring. Somehow, a movie that has computer generated mastodons, saber-toothed tigers, and killer ostriches is so dull it makes you pine for an auto accident-induced coma. Who would have figured that the creative genius behind Independence Day and Eight Legged Freaks was Dean Devlin? For shame, Roland Emmerich. For shame. (IMDb)

TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie (chapter 1 for DVD/BD).