Had to do it. It is Friday the 13th. This may be my favorite franchise of all time, not just because the acting is masterful and the scripting tight, but also these movies feature a meticulous attention to detail where the mythology is concerned. Here’s what I remember:
FRIDAY THE 13TH – There’s a bunch of camp counselors and one of them is Kevin Bacon and he wears a Speedo and it is clear he has either a large member or someone jammed a cucumber in there. Also, people were killed by some angry old lady with a dead retarded son. Or something. People smoked pot and had some sex, too, I think. Continue reading Todd Slingdog Remembers the Franchises, Part 3: Friday the 13th
Somehow timed perfectly with the release of the Friday the 13th reboot in theaters, Anchor Bay released this DVD documentary about the history of the franchise. It is essentially made for those fans that are religous about Jason and his silly movies, but those of us who simply enjoy these slasher films for their irresponsible but highly amusing nonsense will get out a kick out of it as well. Continue reading Straight-to-DVD Corner with Tonn Slingdog: His Name Was Jason
Sorry I let your retarded kid, drown, Mrs. V. I was too busy using my ab-cruncher and misting with Axe body spray to take my lifeguarding duties very seriously. By the way, have you met my one Asian friend? He’s chill. He’s opening up my eyes to other cultures, and junk. I even taught him how to achieve that awesome lead-singer-of-Creed hairdo that’ll make him more acceptable to the rest of us white people at Camp Crystal Lake. Hey, what are you doing with that giant knife. Wait! No! It wasn’t me. It was the black guy! Yeah, our scholarship kid James was supposed to be on lifeguard duty that day. No! Please! I have so much to live for! My lacrosse scholarship at Vandy is secure. My trust fund kicks in when I turn 21. My herpes is totes in remission! No, please. ARRGGGHHHH-GURGLE-GURGLE.