Posts Tagged ‘Sex’

Rewriting DVD Marketing Blurbs #4: Gamer

February 5th, 2010 by Todd

What it says on the back of the DVD:

Gerard Butler (300, RocknRolla) stars as Kable, condemned criminal and globally famous super-soldier in the ultimate multiplayer game, “Slayers.” Human controllers direct each though and move of real-life prison inmates battling in hyper-intense environments–where the goal is freedom and the penalty is death. But when Kable suddenly decides he wants out, his rebellion threates the twisted plans of game creator Ken Castle (Michael C. Hall, TV’s “Dexter”), who will stop at nothing to crush the renegade commando in this taut, adrenaline-packed action-thriller. (more…)

MOVIE REVIEW: The Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call – New Orleans (2009)

December 8th, 2009 by Film Pigs

The Film Pigs go to the “art house” to see a Herzog picture (IMDb)…but who cares? Steven Seagal is: LAWMAN!

Featured Film Pigs Listicle: Best & Worst Nic Cage Performance

Straight-to-DVD Corner with Tonn Slingdog: Wonderfully Sloppy Seconds

October 28th, 2008 by Todd

For amazingly inappropriate horror-comedy magic look no further than Feast II: Sloppy Seconds.  It’s got everything: lesbian biker chicks, monster cum facials, midget tossing, baby killing, and most importantly guys in silly rubber monster suits running around and growling.  Feast I thought was kind of fun, a bouncy little movie that took joy in turning certain horror genre conventions on their ears, but the sequel feels more…unshackled, as if director John Gulager was held back by all those famous Project Greenlight people.  This one is pure, unadulterated shock value, and for someone as desensitized to horror nonsense as I to be jumping up and down in his living room and cheering after experiencing the disbelief of seeing the lengths this picture will go to offend is to say this just may be the best thing of its kind since Peter Jackson’s masterpiece Dead Alive.  If you like this kind of thing and you disagree, then you are a stupid poop-face.

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Straight-to-DVD Corner With Todd: Scary Lady Parts!

September 5th, 2008 by Todd

Here’s a delectable “B” exploitation double feature for you: Trapped Ashes and Teeth.  Both feature female erogenous zones that hunger for human blood.  That’s right!  Even now, in a porn riddled world, sex is still terrifying!  And the most terrifying parts of sex are breasts and the vagina!  No, really!  Gross and horrifying!  Ewwwwww!  Vagina!

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