Movie Jail Visitor’s Center

Due to rampant prison overcrowding, the comments section has been closed on the Movie Jail page. However, all past comments have been preserved here.

20 thoughts on “Movie Jail Visitor’s Center”

  1. This is by far the most unrealistic jail I have ever seen. All the inmates are rich, middle-aged white guys!

  2. Hey, God? Katherine Heigl isn’t a guy. (Or maybe you know something you’re not telling..?)

    How is M. Night Shyamalan not in Movie Jail yet? He should have his own wing!

    1. To be fair, God commented before Ms. Heigl was incarcerated. Although, her career seems to have been constructed my rich, middle-aged white guys.

      Currently, we consider THE LAST AIRBENDER to be punishment enough for Mr. Shyamalan.

  3. M Night Shyamalan needs to be in there. period.

    Also, Judd Apatow should be released, as Bridesmaids was great. No, really. It was fucking great, and if you don’t get that because you don’t get women’s humour, than good luck every getting any hot sex from a woman you’re in a relationship with.

    And Robert Downey Jr. gets a forever pass, because he did Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. And Iron Man was pretty fun. Release Mumia Ab…I mean, Robert Downey Jr!

    1. I think we’ve been avoiding Shyamalan because the case against him is just too easy.

      At the risk of arbitrarily decreed no hot sex ever again, I think I have to stand by my opinion that BRIDESMAIDS wasn’t funny and is not grounds for releasing Apatow. I found the movie too wrapped up in its plot to leave room for much humor and I thought Kristin Wiig’s performance was far too depressing to be funny.

      However, the Pigs are glad the movie was a success because that means studios will be more willing to take a chance on women-driven comedies in the future, something that is sorely lacking in Hollywood.

      And I don’t believe in the concept of “women humor” or “guy humor”, only what you find funny and don’t find funny, what is well-written/performed and what is not. I didn’t like BRIDESMAIDS, not because I didn’t “get” the “women humor” but because I didn’t think the characters or jokes worked. On the other hand, I am a huge fan of the BBC show PULLING for the opposite reasons.

      Since his latest Sherlock Holmes movie was silly fun, maybe it’s time Downey Jr. had a parole hearing…

  4. My theory: Shyamalan makes good entertaining movies and is a competent, artistic director with a unique, engaging style. He writes a bizarre script called “Lady in The Water.” It is a rough draft but before he gets around to a second, an alien from space body snatches him. This alien goes on to make “Lady.” The script is interesting but messy and the characters are completely blank and inhuman because a space alien directed them. The space alien decides to make a “sci-fi” movie. Thus “The Happening” is unleashed upon mankind. It’s Shyamalan’s first truly terrible film because he didn’t write it, his double did, who isn’t the most coherent or intelligent space alien. Now the alien thinks he’s made it big and goes on to direct a big-budget Nickelodeon kids film, because that’s what auteurs do, right? Perhaps Shyamalan has escaped the basement, killed his double and is now slowly recovering his health. “Devil” wasn’t awful, even though he only helped out a bit with it.

    1. The only problem with your theory is it doesn’t explain “Signs” or “The Village”.

      (I actually kind of enjoy “Signs”, but it is pure Spielberg rip-off way more than his other movies, and it really makes no sense at all if you spend more than three nanoseconds thinking about the logic of the aliens invading a planet that is mostly poisonous to them. And them being baffled by doorknobs.)

  5. The science fiction side of Signs dosn’t bother me much. If the unknown has trouble with doorknobs or dosn’t know water hurts it, I’m ok with that. It’s the unknown and I don’t care. What really works in Signs for me is the emotional element. For me, Mel Gibson and Joaquin Phoenix just really deliver in their roles. Also, I’m a Christian and a Calvanist and the ending, presenting a God that is sovereign over all things and works all things for good, really resonates with me. The Village is also for me about emotion. The plot and the world is a bit off kilter, but the love story and the solid, extremely emotional acting just chokes me up every time, and the music and cinematography are so striking. I think Shymalan has always been a director who puts emotional tone ahead of plot believability. The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable were less genre pictures than they were portraits of hurting people finding atonement. Neither of them make much sense, but they resonate so well.

    1. I really liked his movies up to and including LITW. A big part of the reason was that every shot looked like they had be carefully planned and executed and he had a definite style. The pacing too was like a finely tuned watched. THE HAPPENING and THE LAST AIRBENDER looked like he didn’t care and could have been churned out by Jon Turteltaub.

    2. Really can’t get on board with “The Village” – for me that was the movie where Shyamalan’s directing became such a mess that I couldn’t take his movies seriously anymore. I think maybe it’s because he seems to have learned his entire set of directing skills from all of Spielberg’s bad habits. Your comment about him putting emotional tone over plot was spot on – but I think that’s a sign of a sloppy director.

      The redemption of Gibson’s character is exactly what makes “Signs” work, despite the lazy science fiction (Seriously, the aliens didn’t bother to look at the spectra of the planet to determine its makeup before they landed and started running around without any protection? We can do that with current technology.) But the performances are solid, and the thematic element of recovering from a great loss is universally relatable.

      Being non-religious, his arc resonated to me on the level of the memories of his wife’s final moments finally giving him the strength to act (fight the aliens, protect his family) instead of being the weight that made him think life was meaningless. And the connection of his wife’s final words to the moment where he takes action was handled nicely: it leaves it open to interpretation whether or not it is coincidence or a sign from God.

      “Unbreakable” is my favorite Shaymalan movie. Again, hitting the seeking redemption theme and kind of doing the dark comic book movie thing almost ahead of its time.

  6. Unbreakable’s my fave too, but Sixth Sense is probably his best. I don’t know if emotional tone over plot, if it’s a choice rather than poor writing, can be called sloppiness. I contend that Shyamalan chooses to do it rather than mistakenly does so. You’re spot on about him copying Spielberg though. Maybe he used up that bag of tricks?

  7. I really like PROMETHEUS but I’m pleased you put Lindelof in here. Having watched the special features on the Blu-rays he seems like a right dilhole, unlike Ridley who always seems like a top bloke you could sit down and have a beer with.

  8. I know Dennis Dugan has been given consecutive life sentences with no chance of parole, but considering the imminent release of the 0%-rated GROWN UPS 2, surely you were being a bit lenient originally and need to retry him?

  9. I somewhat feel that Movie Jail has let down society as Michael Bay prepares to unleash two stinkers this summer. This shouldn’t be allowed to happen on the FilmPigs’ watch.

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