Tag Archives: Martial Arts

Podcast #28 – The Bacon: Road House

Once more unto The Bacon! We assumed the last episode of the Film Pigs Podcast featuring The Bacon would be so well received we went ahead and immediately recorded another one, Matrix-style! Since we’ve run out of hosts to interview, this episode focuses on one movie and one movie only: Road House. Possibly the greatest B-movie ever made, and a personal favorite of the hosts, you will surely be enthralled by the discussion until a polar bear falls on you.  (Music by Adam Blau.)

Continue reading Podcast #28 – The Bacon: Road House

Podcast #25 – Steven Seagal

You might think you’re above podcasts, but you’re not above ours. The Film Pigs take on an icon of B-movie action this episode when they examine the career of Steven Seagal! Plus, only the latest Movie News, a surprising-then-totally-not-surprising prosecution in Movie Jail, a truly incoherent Nic Cage Memorial Bizarre Line Reading, a special Cold Reading, an amazing fan-suggested game, and (not much) more!

Continue reading Podcast #25 – Steven Seagal

Commentary – Hellbound (1994)

poster_hellboundHave you ever wanted to listen to a commentary for a movie where Chuck Norris plays an on-the-edge Chicago cop who wanders around Israel looking for a demon who looks a lot like, but isn’t, Michael Ironside so he can stab him with a magical staff topped with a baked potato after defeating him with karate? If the answer is yes, you’re in for a treat!

In Hellbound, Chuck Norris is electrifying as Sgt. Shatter, a tough-as-nails pimp-slapping Chicago detective who gets caught up in an ancient battle between good and evil. Because a demon throws a prostitute out a window and onto the hood of his car. Because demons have a terrible problem keeping a low profile while waiting for their plans of hell on earth to come together. Which is why you can vanquish them with karate. In Israel. This movie makes no sense.

TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie (chapter 1 for DVD/BD).

Commentary – G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra (2009)

poster_gijoeA new decade brings forth new life challenges. For the Film Pigs, this means sitting through the stupidest movie from the previous decade. It’s hard to quantify just how monumentally stupid G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra is, but with a running time of two hours, there’s plenty of time to try.

Based on the 1980s toy line (much like the other wildly expensive and brain damaging Transformers franchise), G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra tells the story of a bunch of assholes with a shitload of corporate money who want to take over the world for no discernible reason and the bunch of assholes with a shitload of government money who want to stop them. There are also nanobots.

The worst part of G.I. Joe is how forgettable it is, even during the viewing. Fun drinking game: every time Falk asks any variation of “Wait…is that Sienna Miller?” take a drink.

TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie (chapter 1 for DVD/BD).