Rewriting DVD Marketing Blurbs #4: Gamer

February 5th, 2010 by Todd

What it says on the back of the DVD:

Gerard Butler (300, RocknRolla) stars as Kable, condemned criminal and globally famous super-soldier in the ultimate multiplayer game, “Slayers.” Human controllers direct each though and move of real-life prison inmates battling in hyper-intense environments–where the goal is freedom and the penalty is death. But when Kable suddenly decides he wants out, his rebellion threates the twisted plans of game creator Ken Castle (Michael C. Hall, TV’s “Dexter”), who will stop at nothing to crush the renegade commando in this taut, adrenaline-packed action-thriller. Read the rest of this entry »

Rewriting DVD Marketing Blurbs #3: Whiteout

January 30th, 2010 by Todd

What it says on the back of the DVD packaging:

Underworld’s Kate Beckinsale plays a U.S. Marshal based at an Antarctic research station, where the continent’s first-ever murder triggers a shocking mystery she must race to solve before being stranded with six months of winter darkness–and a killer–closing in. Dominic Sena (Swordfish) directs a talented cast including Gabriel Macht, Tom Skerritt and Alex O’Loughlin in Dark Castle Entertainments’s action-packed thriller. Read the rest of this entry »

MOVIE REVIEW: Daybreakers (2010)

January 14th, 2010 by Film Pigs

The Film Pigs go see the always expressionistically consistent Ethan Hawke in a vampire picture about vampires. Who conduct business. And drive Chryslers. Oddly, a movie released in the first week of January somehow isn’t that good. I mean, Todd was okay with it. (IMDb)

Featured Film Pigs Listicle: 3 Favorite Willem Dafoe Pictures

WTF: Avatar Making Depressed People More Depressed

January 13th, 2010 by Skelton

Apparently, some folks are so overwhelmed by the special-effects in Avatar that they find life in the real world more depressing afterwards. Strangely enough, I didn’t feel any different about life in the real world after seeing Avatar. However, since reading this article about people being so emotionally affected by Avatar, I have fallen into a deep, deep depression.

On the upside, Jennifer Love Hewitt has bedazzled her vagina.

Via Huffington Post

MOVIE REVIEW: Avatar (2009)

January 4th, 2010 by Film Pigs

The Pigs walk in with medium hopes and emerge as grumpy Smurfs. This one will piss people off. We’re sorryish. (IMDb)