Posts Tagged ‘Action’

DVD COMMENTARY: G.I. Joe – The Rise Of Cobra (2009)

February 9th, 2010 by Film Pigs

A new decade brings forth new life challenges. For the Film Pigs, this means sitting through the stupidest movie from the previous decade. It’s hard to quantify just how monumentally stupid G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra is, but with a running time of two hours, there’s plenty of time to try.

Based on the 1980s toy line (much like the other wildly expensive and brain damaging Transformers franchise), G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra tells the story of a bunch of assholes with a shitload of corporate money who want to take over the world for no discernible reason and the bunch of assholes with a shitload of government money who want to stop them. There are also nanobots.

The worst part of G.I. Joe is how forgettable it is, even during the viewing. Fun drinking game: every time Falk asks any variation of “Wait…is that Sienna Miller?”, take a drink.

  • Download Commentary (Right-click and choose “Save Link As…” or “Save Target As…”).

Rewriting DVD Marketing Blurbs #4: Gamer

February 5th, 2010 by Todd

What it says on the back of the DVD:

Gerard Butler (300, RocknRolla) stars as Kable, condemned criminal and globally famous super-soldier in the ultimate multiplayer game, “Slayers.” Human controllers direct each though and move of real-life prison inmates battling in hyper-intense environments–where the goal is freedom and the penalty is death. But when Kable suddenly decides he wants out, his rebellion threates the twisted plans of game creator Ken Castle (Michael C. Hall, TV’s “Dexter”), who will stop at nothing to crush the renegade commando in this taut, adrenaline-packed action-thriller. (more…)

MOVIE REVIEW: Avatar (2009)

January 4th, 2010 by Film Pigs

The Pigs walk in with medium hopes and emerge as grumpy Smurfs. This one will piss people off. We’re sorryish. (IMDb)

Straight-to-DVD Corner with Tonn Slingdog: Alien Raiders

December 24th, 2009 by Todd

Okay, for Christmas this year I’ve found a little alien creature feature that should satiate anyone like me who has an undending hunger for this particular subgenre.  And yes, the movie’s concept is as generic as the title, and it adds nothing new to all the stories it rips off.  However, its producers and director clearly understood the limits of their budget and managed to pull off a totally entertaining little B-picture that looks pretty good and is well acted. (more…)

Nic Cage Shoots A Little Girl

December 14th, 2009 by Skelton

If this movie is half as bonkers as Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call – New Orleans, I’m in.

* UPDATE *

Looks like they killed the original trailer, so enjoy this just-as-badass one: