Tag Archives: Drama

MOVIE REVIEW: We Own The Night (2007)

The Film Pigs cannot, I repeat, cannot get enough of gritty cop thrillers where famous Academy-recognized actors are pitted against each other with a violent backdrop, and finally come head to head in scenes of either indulgent overacting or mind-numbingly boring, mumbling underacting. In We Own The Night, you get both! (IMDb)

MOVIE REVIEW: Rocky Balboa (2006)

The tagline for ‘Rocky Balboa’ is “It ain’t over ’til it’s over.” Unfortunately, that’s true. 102 minutes of Sylvester Stallone’s transparent attempt to remain a star reached hilarity of Chekhovian proportions by about minute 50 and forced half of the Film Pigs to flee the theater in search of a bar. There, they attempted to “box” brain cells out of their heads with alcohol in a futile attempt to erase the images of Stallone’s reconstructed body from their memory. Guest Pig Andrew Kamenetzky remained, if only to see Apollo Creed’s old trainer Duke help Rocky through the shortest workout montage in history. All in all, a horrid experience that made the Film Pigs wish for the wit, charm, and craft of ‘Rocky V’. (IMDb)

MOVIE COMMENTARY: Brokeback Mountain (2005)

poster_brokebackmtnNo pun intended, but being a gay cowboy is really hard. Especially when you’ve only got a couple of camping trips to try and generate some kind of meaningful relationship with a guy who mumbles worse than Brando. Seriously, can anybody understand what the hell Heath Ledger is saying? Was it just a big misunderstanding? Did he really only want Jake Gyllenhaal’s dry cleaning? And where the hell was the posse? We thought this was a western. Even a gay western should have a posse. (IMDb)

TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie (chapter 1 for DVD/BD).

MOVIE COMMENTARY: Crash (2004)

poster_crashTo call this movie ham-fisted would be an insult to the depth and subtlety you get from ham-fistedness. From its opening scene, Crash blunders through an endless series of tired racial stereotypes and preachy clichés like a fat kid in an oversized pair of moon boots, ultimately concluding that everyone on earth is not only racist but also an incompetent motorist. Best Picture 2006? What the fuck, America? And would somebody please get Thandie Newton a God-damn sandwich? (IMDb)

TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie (chapter 1 for DVD/BD).