Commentary #33 – The Wolfman (2010)

poster_thewolfman

Good Lord, where to start on this one? The Wolfman is a big-budget remake of a classic horror film that incorporates all of the slow, clunky nonsense of the original and adds a tired Anthony Hopkins, a strangely non-compelling Benicio Del Toro, that computer-elf guy from them nerd movies, and Emily Blunt’s sideboob. The end result is not quite the “magic” you’d expect.

The most fascinating part of The Wolfman, if you can manage to keep yourself awake by repeatedly stabbing yourself in the thigh with an icepick, is Del Toro’s crazy choice of acting like he’s covered in syrup. Syrup that’s laced with horse tranquilizers. He buries his normal high-intensity so deeply, that when he finally turns into the wolfman…well, you’ve already fallen asleep and will miss all the Act III gore.

IMPORTANT NOTE: The Film Pigs watched the Unrated Director’s Cut from the Blu-ray disc for this commentary. No, we don’t know why.

TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie.

Man On Fire Jumps Out Of Skyscraper, Suck It CGI

Tonn Slingdog Says: Buy Snack Cakes!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIin-jvAmcc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9lxHcs1FJ4

When Jeff Goldblum Won’t Leave Your Party

More after the break. Continue reading When Jeff Goldblum Won’t Leave Your Party

Rewriting DVD Marketing Blurbs #8: Rollerball 2002

What it says on the back of the Blu-ray case:

From the director of Die Hard comes this high-octane thriller that “roars along at a…breakneck pace” (Los Angeles Times)! Starring Chris Klein (American Pie), Jean Reno (Ronin), LL Cool J (Charlie’s Angels), and Rebecca Romijn-Stamos (X-men), Rollerball goes full-throttle from its death-defying opening until its explosive end!

Continue reading Rewriting DVD Marketing Blurbs #8: Rollerball 2002

Review – Machete (2010)