My friend told me she fell asleep during Hellboy II which led me to believe I’d hate it, too, but I went anyway because that’s just how much I like Ron Perlman. I was pleasantly surprised to find I was actually entertained by the CGI heavy picture show. I wondered why it was my friend fell asleep. Then I remembered that she had gotten a kick out of Iron Man and that one put me to sleep. Both movies lean on cartoons and loud noises to deliver their thrills. And even though I was amused by Hellboy II I can’t say I was so swept up by the action that I forgot where I was. I was very aware that I was a watching a big, silly summer movie the entire time I was watching it. So, why didn’t it put me to sleep? Well, I think it just boils down to a taste thing. While most of America seems to get off on watching a rich dude building a metal suit, I prefer watching monsters beating up other monsters. In the end, it’s all the cinematic equivelant of a cheap beer buzz. Sometimes you’re in the mood for cheap beer and you have a laugh, other times it just makes you tired as hell.
And I should note here that despite having a good time with old Red and his gang of freaks, the movie was not entirely satisfying. At about the halfway point I started wishing someone would just make a real action movie. Not a comic book action movie where Angelina Jolie impossibly picks up a dorky guy in her car while driving over a hundred miles an hour, but an action movie. Just car chases and fist fights and gunplay. No super-spy bullshit, either. And kill the damn shaky camera so I can actually see the car chases, fist fights, and gunplay. You know what I mean? Like an old Dirty Harry movie or Lethal Weapon or even like some old “B” movie with Norris or Stallone or Bronson. I got a taste of that with the new Rambo movie, but I’d like to get even more classic than that, you know, just a cop movie. Not some superhuman killing machine, or a guy in a metal suit, or a nice son of the devil or whatever. Just a cop. Who has to kick ass.
You know what I mean?
Lusty, lusty love, Todd.
P.S. I started my own more personal blog deal if you’re interested. http://toddrobertanderson.wordpress.com/
3 thoughts on “Pick Your Computer Generated Poison”
I hope you will vlog a review of The Dark Knight my sons. Your Brokeback Mountain commentaries serves as a great historical document that up to the minute before Heath Ledger died he was merely a decent actor who appeared in a lot of bad films and one or two good ones, not the second coming of Marlon Brando. Though he certainly can mumble.
Earth thy name is insanity.
I love Ron Perlman in next to everything he turns up in. Hell, I thought Alien Resurrection was a better movie because of him. I liked the original Hellboy, but I’ll probably hold off until DVD to see the sequel. Same with most things these days. I’d rather hold back the 20 bucks and just buy the damn DVD than deal with inflated theater prices and screaming children, ya know?