I wasn’t a big fan of the original theatrical release, Wrong Turn. It was okay, I suppose, just a silly rip-off of Texas Chainsaw Massacre that was trying to be as disturbing as that classic, but the inbred mountain folk terrorizing the bland pretties had some rather silly looking prosthetic make-ups and made lots of noises that sounded like seventh-graders making fun of people with Down Syndrome.
And the climax of that picture featured this completely preposterous chase sequence in the tops of trees, which was amusingly dumb, but devoid of any tension whatsoever. Any-hoo, when I sat down with the direct-to-video sequel I was expecting an even lower budget affair without even the big dumb ending of the original. I suppose low expectations are key here…because I was surprised at how entertained I was.
This one is actually even more of a rip-off of the original Massacre, right down to the crazy dinner scene where our heroine is tied to a chair and forced to take part in the cannibalistic hullabaloo. And they threw in a little of Texas Chainsaw 2 for good measure, with Henry Rollins turning in an energetic and hilarious performance as the stand-in for Dennis Hopper’s character. The gore comes fast and furious, the inbred freaks sound even more ridiculous with their yelps and screams, and the pretties are just as pretty although probably a lot less expensive. There is one “annoying guy” who I think is supposed to be the comic relief, but being that the movie is kind of silly there is no need for any sort of relief and “annoying guy” winds up being just that. But that works in a strange way because it was wonderful to watch him die.
There is something satisfying about a shameless rip-off that tries to disguise nothing and instead spends all its energy on its exploitation elements. And did I mention how much fun Henry Rollins is? He’s carved out this fun straight-to-video horror guy acting career for himself. Normally I get aggravated when I see singers and rappers taking work from real actors, but Rollins seems to really love being in grotesque junk, so I’m going to let him slide. Plus, he could kick my ass, so slide he must.
Until next time, my sofa with bong water and cum stains is closed.
Love actually, Tonn