Rewriting DVD Marketing Blurbs #8: XXX

What it says on the box:

Xander Cage (Vin Diesel) is a notorious underground thrill-seeker who, until now, has been deemed untouchable by the law. But when crack NSA Agent Gibbons convinces Cage to infiltrate a ruthless Russian crime ring, this new breed of secret agent (code name: XXX) takes down the enemies of justice with a vengeance in this high-octane, turbo-charged thrill ride from the acclaimed director of The Fast and the Furious.

What it should say:

Xander Cage (Vin Diesel, a man named after an internal combustion engine) is notorious for referring to himself in the third-person in interviews, and here he plays a character who does the same thing. Continue reading Rewriting DVD Marketing Blurbs #8: XXX

Review – Splice (2010)

Rewriting DVD Marketing Blurbs #7: Terminal Velocity

What the back of the DVD case says:

Dynamic Charlie Sheen (The Three Musketeers, Young Guns, TV’s Spin City) delivers fast-paced excitement to this high-flying action-adventure! Sheen stas as Ditch Brodie, a daredevil skydiving instructor who falls hard when a sexy, mysterious beauty (Nastassja Kinski) walks through his door looking for a lesson–and apparently plunges to her death during a parachute jump! Suddenly, Sheen finds himself hurled headlong into a nightmare world of intrigue and deceit–caught in a deadly game of cat and mouse with the Russian mafia! With pulse-pounding suspense and sensational skydiving, high-speed adventrue doesn’t move any faster than Terminal Velocity!

What it should say:

Charlie Sheen is crazy!

Holy Crackdown, Batman!

View more news videos at: http://www.nbclosangeles.com/video.

The Chinese Theatre won’t be the same without those costumedĀ rapscallions.

Tonn Slingdog Alert!

Old Tonn wrote a book! That’s right, a book about his experiences as a scrapper actor! It’s funny and terrifying all at once! Order a copy today! Here’s the link:

Don’t Act: 101 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t (Amazon.com)

You can also get it through Kindle if you want.

It’s the greatest book of all time!

Tonn Slingdog Alert!

Old Tonn did a regional spot that will only air in Atlanta…thought you Pigs fans that don’t live there might want to see it. Wouldn’t want you to miss the opportunity for posting your snarky comments.