Tag Archives: Thriller

Commentary #34 – The Animal Room (1995)


In 1995, a terrifying vision of a possible dystopian future was unleashed into cinemas (or, more likely, a limited number of  Blockbuster Video stores). In this impossible-to-imagine yet almost-frighteningly-real world, troublesome students who can’t decide whether they want to be moody goths or lunkheaded stoners are banished to the Animal Room; where they are allowed to be total dicks to Neil Patrick Harris. Because that will rehabilitate them. Or something. Any way you look at it, Matthew Lillard is all up in NPH’s grill.

What makes this movie so special is the presence of a fresh-faced Gabriel Olds as NPH’s only friend. This is important as Mr. Olds is a close personal friend of the Film Pigs and has joined this commentary for a behind-the-scenes look at the making of this psychological thriller. Except that he can’t remember much and mostly just eats snacks while we make fun of his hair.

Don’t be tardy to the party.

NOTE: The Animal Room is currently available on Netflix Watch Instantly for those of you in the U.S. and possibly Canada.

TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie (chapter 1 for DVD/BD).

Commentary #32 – The Core (2003)


There’s nothing more refreshing than a big Hollywood movie with a plot based on sound science. Since those don’t exist, the Film Pigs watched The Core instead. We’re not sure what was more astounding: the Space Shuttle crash landing in the LA river (which could TOTALLY happen), the amount of people per square mile that have pacemakers, or Stanley Tucci’s wig.

None of the clearly well-researched science in this movie would be believable if Aaron Eckhart hadn’t been sporting the frosted surfer-boy locks that were so common among scientists of the early 2000s. And who knew The Next Karate Kid could pilot a train with a laser on front straight into the earth?

TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie.

Commentary #31 – Hellbound (1994)


Have you ever wanted to listen to a commentary for a movie where Chuck Norris plays an on-the-edge Chicago cop who wanders around Israel looking for a demon who looks a lot like, but isn’t, Michael Ironside so he can stab him with a magical staff topped with a baked potato after defeating him with karate? If the answer is yes, you’re in for a treat!

In Hellbound, Chuck Norris is electrifying as Sgt. Shatter, a tough-as-nails pimp-slapping Chicago detective who gets caught up in an ancient battle between good and evil. Because a demon throws a prostitute out a window and onto the hood of his car. Because demons have a terrible problem keeping a low profile while waiting for their plans of hell on earth to come together. Which is why you can vanquish them with karate. In Israel. This movie makes no sense.

TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie.

Commentary #30 – Law Abiding Citizen (2009)


Law Abiding Citizen is a movie so engaging, so socially relevant, and so masterful in its execution that Todd had to buy the Unrated Director’s Cut Blu-Ray edition so he could see it in all its pristine glory FOR THE THIRD TIME. Todd has a terrible problem, but we’re not sure the Pasadena Recovery Center has a program for people who are compelled to buy every single plastic and metal disc that contains moving pictures.

The best thing about LAC is that it is composed mostly of long, boring scenes of people talking which get interrupted once in a while by scenes of terrible violence and/or gore. The director’s cut shows way more gore than the theatrical release (steak bone, I’m looking in your direction). Plus, you get to play an interesting thought experiment where you try to explain why Gerard Butler keeps getting to make high-profile studio pictures when they do nothing but bomb (Answer: he’s pretty).

NOTE: This Film Pigs commentary is for the “Unrated Director’s Cut” on the 2-disc Blu-Ray and not the theatrical release. We felt it was important to force ourselves to sit through the director’s true vision.

TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie.

Rewriting DVD Marketing Blurbs #5: Hard Rain

What it says on the back of the case:

Get swept up in the action as Morgan Freeman, Christian Slater, Randy Quaid and Minnie Driver race against time and the elements in this high-energy thrill ride where survival and money are at the core of it all. Continue reading Rewriting DVD Marketing Blurbs #5: Hard Rain