MOVIE COMMENTARY: Audition (1999)

poster_auditionHolding a fake movie audition in order to find a new wife seems reasonable enough – I mean, how else are you supposed to meet women? MySpace? Unfortunately for the Film Pigs, our guy forgets the cardinal rule of dating: Never pick up the girl with fetishes for needles, piano wire, and keeping mutilated guys in a big sack. Happy endings: 0. Puke in dog dish: 1. (IMDb)

TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie (chapter 1 for DVD/BD).

MOVIE REVIEW: Reno 911!: Miami & Ghost Rider (2007)


The Film Pigs attend the worst double-feature in history. What should have be a delightful evening full of action (IMDb) and comedy (IMDb) only serves to destroy the spirit and strain the liver. $63 wasted on tickets, probably upwards of $100 spent wisely on scotch. The horror, the horror.

MOVIE COMMENTARY: Crank (2006)

poster_crankCrank is quite possibly the best movie ever made about a guy injected with a lethal dose of poison who goes on a rampage against his enemies but takes time out to bang Amy Smart in front of a crowd in Chinatown before falling to his death out of a helicopter. No one with any sense of moral decency or concern over the decline of our civilization should see this movie. It is that awesome. Girls in plastic bubbles: at least 3. Redeeming qualities: 0. (IMDb)

TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie (chapter 1 for DVD/BD).

Film Pigs featured in February’s Esquire magazine! (No, really…)

filmpigs_esquire_2007-FEBIn an unbelievable turn of events that can only be described as coincidental, the Film Pigs movie review vlogs have been featured in a moderately sarcastic graphic/column thing nearly half a page long in Esquire! To put things in proper perspective, there’s also a blurb about a DVD called “Cat Fights Unleashed” that appears to be about as large but with more copy. To join in on the fun, pick up the current issue of Esquire (the one with Sienna “I’m pretty so I guess I’m a movie star” Miller on the cover) or click on the image above to see full size.