The Film Pigs are back and we’re talking zombies! Slow zombies, fast zombies, angry zombies, blasé zombies, and even a few things that may or may not be zombies. And, yes, it’s impossible to talk about zombie movies without eventually discussing The Walking Dead, so add TV zombies in there as well. Plus, more of the stuff you love (or hate, we really don’t know): Movie News, Movie Jail, The Nic Cage Memorial Bizarre Line Reading, a Cold Reading, a rousing game of What’s Your Opinion?!, and – somehow, impossibly – not a single Cranberries joke.
Okay, perhaps movies that seek purely to make you sick to your stomach are abusing our whole “right to free speech” thing, but dammit if I’m not happier than a pig in putrid, bloody, pus-filled dung that they are around. This past weekend, I sat down with some friends to do a double feature of Eli Roth’s Cabin Fever and its DTV sequel, Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever. To be honest, when I first saw Roth’s original in the theater I was disappointed…but I’ll give it this: it holds up. I was still disappointed with it. However, after you wade through an hour long swamp of underdeveloped characters yammering at each other, the last twenty minutes of the picture are a lot of fun. Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever takes that last twenty minutes and turns into eighty minutes of pure disgustingness. And this is a good thing. Continue reading Straight-to-DVD Corner with Tonn Slingdog: It’s So Disgusting!
Not to discount our zombie debate, but these guys used math and stuff:
Two physicists have published an academic paper where they demonstrate, by virtue of geometric progression, that vampires could not exist, since they would almost immediately deplete their entire food supply (a.k.a, all of us).
The best part is this argument has been going on since at least 1982 in the form of various scientific papers. See Physicists Prove That Vampires Could Not Exist at io9 for the entire article.
Last night Todd and I got into a drunken argument over where is the best place to go in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse. I grab a boat and travel to an island free from zombies, remaining mobile for forays back to mainlands for supplies, if necessary. Todd goes to Montana or some other low-population area and builds a fortress.
Who is right? Me? Todd? Neither? Discuss.
As I believe I mentioned on one of the last Straight-to-DVD Corner posts, the straight-to-video sequels of theatrical releases (such as The Butterfly Effect 2, Urban Legends: Bloody Mary, and I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer) are never as much fun as the franchises from which they were born (and I realize that the originals of the sequels I just listed were not particularly fantastic, but all were fun for what they were. So leave me alone about it. Seriously. Get off my back.) But I’ll be a monkey’s uncle if I didn’t find an exception to my little rule (not that I’m saying anything bad about monkeys, I would consider myself lucky to be the uncle of any sort of primate, except maybe the baboon because those guys seem particularly dangerous.)