The Film Pigs go to the “art house” to see a Herzog picture (IMDb)…but who cares? Steven Seagal is: LAWMAN!
Featured Film Pigs Listicle: Best & Worst Nic Cage Performance
(via Topless Robot)
Breaking my streak of unwatchable DTV horror, I discovered a movie called Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer, a kind of anti-Buffy movie. Jack Brooks is the world’s worst plumber with a massive anger management problem, and he’s played with giddy, aggravated energy by the likeable Trevor Matthews. His family was killed by a monster, and he’s never gotten past his inability to have done anything about it. His science teacher (most of the movie takes place in a high school, although it seems to be a night class–all the students dress like they are still in high school, circa 1986, but they are all clearly too old to actually be in high school) asks him to fix a plumbing problem at his creepy new house, and Jack unwittingly unleashes a possessed black heart of evil which possesses the science teacher, slowly turning him into a monster not-so-gently reminiscent of the Chet monster of Weird Science.
SHIA LEBEOUF flies up into the FUCKING JUNGLE and swings like FUCKING TARZAN along the FUCKING VINES with a FUCKING ARMY of CGI FUCKING MONKEYS. That actually FUCKING HAPPENS.
This is pretty great.