Tag Archives: Horror

Straight-to-DVD Corner with Todd: Too Good For DVD

When it comes to shit that gets dumped on video, most of the time you can see why.  If it’s action, you’ve got your Seagal movies, Snipes movies, Van Damme movies, and those odd Jason Statham movies that come out in between his theatrical releases.  All are junk.  (The Seagal movies are a great source of guilty pleasure because each one is a greater trainwreck than the last one…trainwrecks beyond imagination.)  And then you’ve got your thrillers with Morgan Freeman or Christian Slater or even Gene Hackman these days.  It’s always clear why they are not in the theater, usually because their plot lines are indecipherable and the movies are just plain boring (even more so than the boring shit they actually do release in the theater) or, you know, it’s because they star Christian Slater.  As far as I can tell, the only genre that provides little gems in the straight-to-video market is the horror genre.  It’s tricky to navigate, of course, because there are also more unwatchable DIY movies in the horror genre than any other. 

Continue reading Straight-to-DVD Corner with Todd: Too Good For DVD

Straight-to-DVD Corner With Todd: Scary Lady Parts!

Here’s a delectable “B” exploitation double feature for you: Trapped Ashes and Teeth.  Both feature female erogenous zones that hunger for human blood.  That’s right!  Even now, in a porn riddled world, sex is still terrifying!  And the most terrifying parts of sex are breasts and the vagina!  No, really!  Gross and horrifying!  Ewwwwww!  Vagina!

Continue reading Straight-to-DVD Corner With Todd: Scary Lady Parts!

Straight-to-DVD Corner with Todd: Dorff Botches It

Yes, that’s right, I’m talking about a movie starring Stephen Dorff.  It’s fantastically gory and funny.  And the title is to die for: Botched.  Of course, for the most part the picture has received bad online reviews, and the title has been used against itself.  But you know what?  Anyone expecting more than what this is from a DVD premiere movie is kind of an asshole.  Continue reading Straight-to-DVD Corner with Todd: Dorff Botches It

Straight-to-DVD Corner with Todd: Killer Croc Movies

There was once a place called a grindhouse where one could go to watch “B” movies.  Ever since Hollywood co-opted the “B” movie and renamed it “the summer tent pole” movie, the grindhouse has moved into the living room.  That’s right, the only place to check out truly fun, low budget grindhouse movies is on your DVD player (and no, the Tarantino/Rodgriquez effort wasn’t true grindhouse fare, there was simply too much money involved.)  So, as a lover of trash cinema, I wind up watching a shitload of straight-to-DVD movies.  Most of them are unwatchable “DIY” features shot on home video cameras by amateurs who have no idea how to turn a shoestring budget into an entertaining story (and they also have no idea what it means to show instead of tell as these movies generally feature terrible and unattractive actors explaining to each other about what is happening/going to happen while the hapless audience slowly sinks into their throw pillows praying for a quick and painless end.)  Continue reading Straight-to-DVD Corner with Todd: Killer Croc Movies