Posts Tagged ‘Martial Arts’

DVD COMMENTARY: Hellbound (1994)

July 9th, 2010 by Film Pigs

Have you ever wanted to listen to a commentary for a movie where Chuck Norris plays an on-the-edge Chicago cop who wanders around Israel looking for a demon who looks a lot like, but isn’t, Michael Ironside so he can stab him with a magical staff topped with a baked potato after defeating him with karate? If the answer is yes, you’re in for a treat!

In Hellbound, Chuck Norris is electrifying as Sgt. Shatter, a tough-as-nails pimp-slapping Chicago detective who gets caught up in an ancient battle between good an evil. Because a demon throws a prostitute out a window and onto the hood of his car. Because demons have a terrible problem keeping a low profile while waiting for their plans of hell on earth to come together. Which is why you can vanquish them with karate. In Israel. This movie makes no sense.

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DVD COMMENTARY: G.I. Joe – The Rise Of Cobra (2009)

February 9th, 2010 by Film Pigs

A new decade brings forth new life challenges. For the Film Pigs, this means sitting through the stupidest movie from the previous decade. It’s hard to quantify just how monumentally stupid G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra is, but with a running time of two hours, there’s plenty of time to try.

Based on the 1980s toy line (much like the other wildly expensive and brain damaging Transformers franchise), G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra tells the story of a bunch of assholes with a shitload of corporate money who want to take over the world for no discernible reason and the bunch of assholes with a shitload of government money who want to stop them. There are also nanobots.

The worst part of G.I. Joe is how forgettable it is, even during the viewing. Fun drinking game: every time Falk asks any variation of “Wait…is that Sienna Miller?”, take a drink.

  • Download Commentary (Right-click and choose “Save Link As…” or “Save Target As…”).

MOVIE REVIEW: JCVD (2008)

December 9th, 2008 by Film Pigs

Jean-Claude Van Damme is back with a vengeance! And when we say “vengeance” we mean “crying like a girl!” (IMDb)

Featured Film Pigs Listicle: Favorite Martial Arts Fight Sequence

MOVIE REVIEW: Jet Li’s Fearless (2006)

September 26th, 2006 by Film Pigs

Watch the second in the exciting Film Pigs “series” of “Now In Theaters” video “blogs” where the “Pigs” record “their feelings” about the “new” Jet Li “motion picture” from the “back seat” of Stee’s “car”. (IMDb)

MOVIE REVIEW: The Protector (2005)

September 11th, 2006 by Film Pigs

Check out an exciting glimpse into the terrifying world of video podcasting, as the Pigs stand in front of a freeway sound wall and scream over traffic about how much they loved “The Protector”. (IMDb)