Swayze. Elliott. Boobs. Few words encompass the greatness that is American cinema more than these, and few films possess all three qualities at once. Road House is such a film. Join the Film Pigs as they relive the wonder of a late 80s action masterpiece, complete with all the mullets and pleated pants one could want. Marvel as they give voice to their shared crush on the ultimate man that is Sam Elliott. And, as always, please enjoy the boobs. (IMDb)
SPECIAL NOTE: Please forgive the minor distortion in the recording. Sam Elliott’s mustache simply overpowered our weak, mama’s boy microphone. We are rightfully shamed. Please forgive us Sam!
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie.
Because I hate myself so completely, I continue to read Entertainment Weekly, and every week there’s at least one thing that boils my blood and causes me to involuntarily throw the magazine at my fireplace. This week it was an article about “stoner movies” in which the author boldly stated that pot movies make lots of money because they do. Way to go out on a limb! But it wasn’t the stupidity of the puff piece that made me mad given that I have been completely desensitized to inane puff pieces. What made me mad was Seth Rogan. He obviously feels he has made the best stoner movies to date. 
So I got a PlayStation 3 and there was this rebate for 5 Blu-ray discs – the catch was you could only select from a horribly crippled list of possibilities (and you had to select from different tiers with only a few titles available on each tier, making selection of 5 decent titles virtually impossible and causing this sentence to run on and on and on…). Anyway, I sent off the rebate 6-8 weeks ago and forgot about it. 
…as written in a text message to a friend while watching the movie: