For a movie called “Saw,” there is an alarming lack of “sawing” – of arms, legs, heads, wooden planks, trees, anything. However, there is plenty of terrifying acting from Carey Elwwwwwwes, who spends most of the movie in a life-or-death struggle with his accent. Plus, there is the obligatory pointless twist ending that paves the way for “Saw II,” which will hopefully deliver on the gore “Saw” only teases us with. (IMDb)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie (chapter 1 for DVD/BD).
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We are going to hell. Which should be more fun than watching this movie. The Bible is really confusing. (
There is a moment in this movie where an indignant Will Smith berates Eva Mendes for criticizing his job as a “date doctor” by making the point that women are too stupid and shallow to recognize the true qualities of a man. Therefore, men are justified in crafting elaborate lies in order to falsely win their affections. And she eventually agrees with him! Hilarious. There are also numerous jokes highlighting Kevin James’ awkwardness. All totally subtle. (
And you thought previous performances from DeNiro and Stiller were embarrassing. The Film Pigs stagger through the most contrived screwball-family-comedy-barely-disguised-as-an- excuse-for-poop-jokes movie starring actors whose performances used to matter. Lifetime gross: $279 million. Why, America? Why? (
The Film Pigs learn an important lesson about the environment in an action-thriller-blockbuster that, after a great first hour of destruction, combines the excitement of a summit on global warming with the pulse-pounding adventure of Dennis Quaid walking! In snowshoes! (
When someone dies in a state of rage, a grudge is born. When the Film Pigs are forced to watch a PG-13 horror movie, aggravation is born. (