Tag Archives: Movie Review

Rewriting DVD Marketing Blurbs #4: Gamer

What it says on the back of the DVD:

Gerard Butler (300, RocknRolla) stars as Kable, condemned criminal and globally famous super-soldier in the ultimate multiplayer game, “Slayers.” Human controllers direct each though and move of real-life prison inmates battling in hyper-intense environments–where the goal is freedom and the penalty is death. But when Kable suddenly decides he wants out, his rebellion threates the twisted plans of game creator Ken Castle (Michael C. Hall, TV’s “Dexter”), who will stop at nothing to crush the renegade commando in this taut, adrenaline-packed action-thriller. Continue reading Rewriting DVD Marketing Blurbs #4: Gamer

Awesome/Stupid/Pointless: The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford (2007)


  • Sam Shepard in a western is always awesome. Even that silly one about history’s most famous gunslingers stuck in purgatory.
  • Brad Pitt is a pretty menacing and unstable Jesse James.
  • Casey Affleck’s Creepy Nervous Smile™.

Continue reading Awesome/Stupid/Pointless: The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford (2007)

Straight-to-DVD Corner with Todd: Botched…Again!

I’m sort of surprised at how much luck I’m having with straight-to-video horror DVD’s lately.  Generally, I’ve got to wade through four or five awful ones before I get to a decent one, but lately the ratio has been much better.  The Cottage, a British horror-comedy starring Andy Serkis, is a tightly constructed and hilarious take on the slasher genre.  I suppose it was Shaun of the Dead that ushered in a new wave of British horror-comedy, and while that was the only one to get a theatrical release Stateside, the rest of ’em are nothing to scoff at (check out the corporate retreat slasher comedy Severance as well, you’re guaranteed a good time if horror-comedy is your thing.) 

Continue reading Straight-to-DVD Corner with Todd: Botched…Again!

Kingsley Spit

poster_wacknessI’m writing this on my iPhone via the new WordPress app. Pretty killer. Though it’s tough to write on this tiny screen with my giant Shaq hands, I’d much rather be staring at this screen than one showing the smug and snoozy indie The Wackness. It’s about a high school senior in Manhattan in 1994 and tells the story of the poor Upper East Side kid feeling sad because he can’t get laid, his parents are fighting, and his underbite keeps getting in the way of his garbled whiteboy Yo slang. He spends his time hanging with two older guys with terrible fake accents and a serious predilliction for chewing scenery, Method Man and Ghandi. Ghandi is also his shrink who smokes pot when mumble-over-acting because he has no idea why his character is in the film gets too tiring. Then he gets back at his Famke Jamke wife for being a catatonic chain-smoker by making out with one of the Olsen twins. The kid hooks up with Ghandi’s giant tedious slut-monster of a stepdaughter who naturally ends up hurting his feelings. She also gets to explain the title, telling Kid that while she sees the “dopeness” in the world, he just sees the “wackness.” If you don’t now want to punch this girl in the vag, be my guest and go see the flick.

I Got This For Free: Ultraviolet

poster_ultraviolet_pg-13So I got a PlayStation 3 and there was this rebate for 5 Blu-ray discs – the catch was you could only select from a horribly crippled list of possibilities (and you had to select from different tiers with only a few titles available on each tier, making selection of 5 decent titles virtually impossible and causing this sentence to run on and on and on…). Anyway, I sent off the rebate 6-8 weeks ago and forgot about it. Continue reading I Got This For Free: Ultraviolet